Confusion

Have you ever sat there dazed and confused?
Sat there just wondering where to go and what to do?
Experienced love, hate, joy, disgust and anger all in one breath.
It's at that point that you realize you have reached the limit.

There is no sense to the way that we live.
No understanding as to what makes the world go round.
When you try to draw a map you will always get lost.
The only thing left to do is ground yourself, and take off your shoes.

Sometimes all you can do is lay there at night,
Stopping to think and wonder how it all began.
Not just the things related to your life,
But wondering how did life begin, all life and all things.

There is no sense to the way that we live.
No simple explanation as to the spark of creation.
Big bang or divine creator, the answer still unknown.
Then, of course, we need to think about our purpose.

How is a purpose defined? What does it entail?
Why are we here in such a crazy world?
Were we placed here to the point of helping each other?
If so, help our fellow persons to accomplish what?

We cannot help each other if we first can't help ourselves.
Help ourselves to remember that we are not alone.
Help ourselves to forgive our pasts and look toward our futures.
Help ourselves to want to love, learn, and be happy.

How can we stand to see disaster and not cry?
How can you bear to see someone helpless on the street?
What would it take for you to stop and answer the call?
What will cause you to admit that we all needed someone?

"You are not alone." It is a phrase we all have heard.
From sports to work and school to family, someone has been there.
To coach, to guide, to help, and to heal you throughout those tough times.
When at last will you stop to realize...we are all in a state of confusion.
We are all just trying to find ourselves.

The Price of Home

In our society today there are numerous people without the tangible home that we label as homeless or home-challenged; but have we thought about those that are lacking home security/stability? Many vulnerable groups are on the verge or edge of losing the homes they have currently. These people include (but aren't limited to) the LGBTQ community, lower income persons/families, and immigrants. These groups are often the subject of discrimination just because they exist. 

Home is usually defined as a place a person goes for shelter, for safety, and for a sense of normalcy. Home is something we think of as both a literal and a figurative place in our society. But what truly makes a home a home? How is it decided who gets a home and who doesn't? How do you get to keep a home that you may have created or earned for yourself?

For many LGBTQ individuals, myself included, you worry what will happen when you come out to someone. Whether that person is a family member, a friend, a colleague, or a boss. It is a nerve-wracking experience that can have dire consequences. For those that are unaware, there are many intangible things on the line in addition to all of the tangible one. It goes beyond the loss of a place to call home, which is a traumatic experience in its own right. You start to lose your self of self. 

For many of us, so much of who we are is made up or defined by our homes. Your parents/families are the first to give you a set of values to believe in. At home is when you are taught to feel safe and comfortable. The security that you feel at home is supposed to make you feel strong and confident. However, these things are only true if you feel that you belong there. Even if you are living in a home you may not feel at home if you are not able to be truly and completely yourself. In those situations, is that really a home? Is this a place that you are meant to be? Many are forced to say yes because you need the physical, financial, and practical support that is associated with it. Like many others, I did not know how I could or would afford to finish college without the support of my "family". In this situation, you are forced to hide who you are or to be someone other than yourself. 

For some, coming out is a story of acceptance, love, and familial warmth. For others, coming out is a story of pain, longing, loss, and hope. The pain of rejection that stings to the very depth of your soul. The longing for an idea of how things could have been if you were born any other way. The loss of the future you thought you had or the stability and support you need. The hope you force yourself to believe in until you finally find the place you were meant to be full of love, laughter, and support. The journey and the struggles that one faces along this path will be different from the next person but all have one thing in common. They all shape us to be something more than we thought or imagined and it is the price we paid for our sense of home today.

("Family" - the person you are related to by blood or law. Not to be confused with family - those that you chose to be members of your support network.) 

Elul 8

Eventually, I will use the kazoo I was given for this. :)

Today's post is about the idea of social intelligence. Yes, it is what you think it is. Have you spent much time thinking about yours? Currently, I am taking a leadership development course. In this class, we have talked about the impact that you have on those around you and the importance of getting feedback. A part of social intelligence is knowing how to say things and when to say them. Another part is the listening, the hearing.

Are you able to listen to someone and hear the message they are communicating? When we listen to each other we allow ourselves to grow. Coincidentally, when you've been listened to, you feel valued and important. This is not a coincident. These interactions are positive for both parties. The person speaking will be more willing to invest in your development if they know you value their input. You, in turn, are able to grow when you synthesize this information into your life. True as a child and still true as an adult.

Elul 7

One of my favorite cities with a fabulous singer. Ask yourself this, what would you do when the world was your oyster?

I wish you the opportunity to reach your potential and the newest of starts.

Elul 6

For me transition is always signified with new friends. Whenever I move, start a new job, or a go visit a new place I meet someone new. This post goes out to Andrew Cosentino, one of my first new friends in Baltimore.

Transitions are always fun. One of my favorite things to do is approach things with an open mind and heart. I always try to adapt to my situation my getting in touch with the things that are relevant. In moments of transition, it is very easy to get caught up in the possibilities. During these moments, it is important to remember that you need to stay grounded in what really matters. Sometimes, you may need to get the help of those around you to remain on course. Thank you to Leah Flamm, Erin Syverson, and Julie Murphy for being sources of wisdom, honesty, and pure joy the past year+.

Elul 5

#reflect4rosh #blogelul

Acceptance. Normally, I would reject the word for something more inclusive such as nurturing or valuing. However, I feel that there are opportunities to accept things and appreciate them. So I'm going make one recommendation and then share a few appreciations.

Recommendation: When you appreciate someone, tell them. It's important to let them know so they understand they have touched you. It's just a nice thing to do. It'll also make you feel better. 

Kenton Summers- Thank you for being one of my oldest and best friends. You have been there for me in the times that I've needed someone most. I can't wait for Europe this winter! After 9 years we are still friends, here's to many more!

Rachel Braden- You are such a kind and giving person. You have given me so much over the years that I don't even know where to begin to thank you. Right now, you're out there doing the things that you love and making a difference in the lives of those around you. Keep rocking on.

Sue Klapper- You truly are an inspiration to all that meet you. I know that I would not be where I am today without your help and support throughout the years. The example you set has helped shape my outlook and experience with the world around me. I am always trying to pay it forward.

Elul 4

This will count for yesterday's #reflect4rosh #blogelul post.

Sometimes you make new friends that feel like old friends. Sometimes you keep old friends like you keep old wine (never let them go). Other times, you sleep and forget what you said you were going to do.

Remember that sleep is important.